CUNTfrontational: Bitches get a bad rep…
Posted on: May 22, 200920 comments so far (is that a lot?)
I call it like I see it. That’s how I’ve always been and it’s how I will always be. I don’t think there is anything wrong with that. In fact, I think more people should be that way. Keeping it real keeps it simple. Thinking for yourself and speaking up about your opinions, both pleasant and unpleasant, stirs the pot. It inspires people to think or rethink their own stance. It instigates change.
People who are confrontational are usually considered aggressive which is usually considered to have a negative connotation. I don’t think either is negative. I find it is usually the more passive aggressive types who feel this way. Confrontation is a threat to them. It’s too much of a challenge to their fears. It’s far easier to claim being a bigger person means to not confront, but in my opinion more often than not it takes a bigger person to speak up when no one else will: to confront a bully, to out a liar, to slam another blogger for their lack of ethics, to protest against unfair actions of our government.
It is our responsibility to speak up when we think something isn’t right. Passive aggressive people coddle themselves with ideas about staying out of it and maturity and all that mess… those are usually the type who would see someone getting beaten up and walk by, minding their own business. Those are the type who would avoid eye contact with a homeless person rather than shake their hand and buy them a coffee.
We should, in general, choose our battles in life. However I think far too many people look past injustice and never actually choose to battle much of anything. Those who do are usually deemed obnoxious loudmouths. Opinionated hotheads. Bitches.
It’s the silent who suffer. I have a few friends who have some ongoing issues in their relationships. They vent to me and my advice is usually the same: speak up! Sit down and talk about how you really feel about this. You can’t expect for anything to improve when you haven’t expressed how this makes you feel.
“I don’t want to spoil the night…”
So instead you spoil your relationship. You suffer through it day after day, month after month, until it inevitably poisons your relationship as it reveals itself as resentment. A little bit of confrontation which could instigate change seems like a better option to me.
Or maybe you have a coworker who always shoulders you with the burden of their laziness and then takes equal credit at the end of the day. You can stay silent, not wanting to be “a bitch” about it or you can, in a professional manner, express how you feel. You can’t expect others to respect you if you don’t respect yourself. Even if they hated you in the end, unable to handle that kind of “attack” due to their own insecurities… you would be much happier without the added workload.
Who cares if someone who is wrong, unethical, rude, or disrespecting you thinks you’re a bitch? So what?
We say “bitch” like it’s a bad thing, but I don’t really think it is at all.
May 22nd, 2009 at 1:32 am
Ok, so you call it like you see it. Good for you.
I think I’ve read enough verbal diarhea from this ‘blog’ to fill numerous lifetimes. I am sick ‘n tired of your inutile drivel.
No longer “following” you on Twitter either.
Call me a “hater” all you want. I really don’t give a shit!
C’ya!
~John
May 22nd, 2009 at 3:05 am
*tear*
May 22nd, 2009 at 5:20 am
I enjoyed this post a great deal as it stuck a chord for me. Being more forthright is something that has always been personally challenging. I’m not sure what keeps me from being confrontational. I worry about what people may think of me or like you said being called a bitch. You managed to redefine that word for me. I know this will come to mind next time I am in a situation where I am being walked all over. I am a people pleaser and I say yes to things instead of putting myself first. I wanted to say it isn’t so simple when I first took this in and then didn’t really have a reason why. Thank you for writing this. I wouldn’t let posters like John get to you. It doesn’t sound like he read the same thing I just did. What a rude and juvenile comment to leave. Your posts so far have been interesting and enjoyable. I am glad he won’t be back. I am very impressed with your website so far and can’t wait to see what you are going to do with it. Best of luck to you! I will be back often.
May 22nd, 2009 at 9:49 am
sometimes its hard. you feel like your either being a push over or a bully. if someone cuts in front of you in line do you say something and be confrontational or just let it go? ya know.
May 22nd, 2009 at 10:15 am
In the future, I really should refrain from posting online while inebriated.
Still, I fail to see the ‘joy’ in Alana Joy..
~John
May 22nd, 2009 at 10:29 am
I am going to have to agree with John on this one. Why is it you ALWAYS go on these tirades about your personality and justifying WHY you are a bitch? You just LOVE to talk about yourself don’t you? Get over yourself, you’re a self-proclaimed bitch, and people call you a bitch because you’re unpleasant. It’s THAT simple. NO one is “Hating” on you, they just think your attitude sucks.
I know from my own personal experience if I think someone is a “bitch” it is because they are just generally not a nice person, and I’m sure I am speaking for many others when I say that. It has nothing to do with whether that person speaks up or not. “Get Real”
and this, “those are usually the type who would see someone getting beaten up and walk by, minding their own business. Those are the type who would avoid eye contact with a homeless person rather than shake their hand and buy them a coffee.”
omg how self-righteous are you?
have you shaken a homeless person’s hand and bought them a coffee? Don’t you live in LA? Don’t you know how potentially dangerous that is?!
and for the record it is possible to speak up for yourself in a healthy non passive way so you obviously have some underlying issues with that one.
I second the unfollows no tumblr no twitter. 86.
people really shouldn’t waste their time talking to you about their differing opinions because as it seems you don’t like what anyone has to say if they are disagreeing with you so you are not receptive. Seems a helpless cause.
“Constitutionally Incapable of Being Honest” Look that up.
May 22nd, 2009 at 11:04 am
How annoying. She isn’t justifying being a bitch she is saying that there is nothing wrong with standing up for yourself or calling out people you disagree with you which is what you are both doing here and which she has the class to allow these hateful comments to stay. What do you mean she always goes on tirades like this. The website has been up for two days. And she is saying to not be passive and speak up for yourself and others. I think you two are haters with an axe to grind and it’s kind of funny that you don’t realize that this drama is just giving her page views and keeping her comments active. John you said you wouldn’t be back but here you are. Sahar she isn’t justifying being a bitch she is saying that people who stand up for what they think, people like you and John here, are not bitches. I think you are though. Since you say you won’t be back why don’t you look up “Constitutionally Incapable of Being Honest”. Alana is one of the most honest, loyal, caring, supportive and generous people I know. What’s stupid is that she is standing up for your right to do just what you are doing here, speaking your mind and opinion and standing up to what you don’t like. It’s pretty damn real of her to leave your pathetic comments here. I think she should 86 both of you haters because your bull shit wouldn’t stay posted on my site. I have known Alana for 13 years. AJ I am sooooo proud of you. The woman you have turned into impresses me consistently. Don’t ever let these trolls effect you just keep doing what you’re doing.
May 22nd, 2009 at 12:51 pm
Sahar said, “it is possible to speak up for yourself in a healthy non passive way” and yet is too dumb to realize that she is echoing your sentiments Alana. Someone with that kind of intelligence level is out of their league here.
Making note of both these hater type comments were left within minutes of each other. Probably the same person like Julia or Mary leaving them jealous that her site at launch is better featured and intriguing content compared to theirs which has been a year, Or else it’s that RBNS troll who has been trying to out commenters. Because no normal person would read this post and get that upset unless they had something already up their ass.
I don’t know Alana and can tell she keeps it real. Look how much that bothers people? She said it best though, it bothers them because it’s a threat. K back over to RBNS. POST MORE Alana, give them something to cry about.
May 22nd, 2009 at 2:39 pm
Wow, talk about stirring the pot! This post was not just about me whatsoever. This post was clearly expressing that I think more people should stand up for what they believe. Just because I (however emphatically) don’t agree with these two… lovey people who left such ugly comments, I still respect if nothing else their right to voice it. Opinions are like assholes: we’ve all got them and some of them aren’t so clean and smell like shit. Case in point, see above. I knew getting into this that this type of commenting happens. I also knew that considering my TSAM blog, there would be some people with a point to prove coming here. Unlike some other less ethical “communities” that delete comments that are not favorable and then remove commenting all together, I plan to let them stand as is. It is more a statement to who they are than to who I am. Especially considering they don’t in fact know me personally. I stand behind all my posts and videos and I know where I am going with it all. I think most people do as well. As it says in my “about” area:
Life On Blast is your medium. Consider me the curator. If I have a topic that means something to me I will present it: but not to place myself on a soapbox. To open up a dialogue that allows you to express your stance as well. These topics are expressed through videos I curate from around the internet, videos I create myself for the Life On Blast channel, and blog posts. All of which encourage your involvement by offering video, audio, and text commenting. Reply to the post, reply to each other: just get talking!
If you are looking for some kind of Julia Allison-esque breakdown that’s fine but you will find yourself disappointed.
May 22nd, 2009 at 3:03 pm
1) This is still cached on my computer, so I still can see it.
2) I had way too much to drink when I first posted. Shouldn’t have said it, but I did.
3) I am not Sahar. Hell, I’m not even John. I have NO idea who Sahara is.
~Me
May 22nd, 2009 at 3:36 pm
1.) Everyone can see it genius, I didn’t delete anything.
2.) Acknowledged.
3.) If you feel so strongly that your opinion is valid, and you stand behind it proudly… why hide behind a pseudonym?
~Me
May 22nd, 2009 at 7:06 pm
1) I was referring to still be able to see this webpage on my laptop. I never said you did delete it.
3) Because I wanted too! That’s why. Free country and all that, Alana_so_full_of_Joy…
May 22nd, 2009 at 7:25 pm
Wow you can see a WEBPAGE on your LAPTOP! *GASP!*
I thought you weren’t coming back here? We were all so sad!
And no, you choose to remain anonymous because you are a pussy and a poser without enough guts to say your ignorant judgements with your own name or with your own face.
Pathetic.
Buh-bye.
May 22nd, 2009 at 9:17 pm
Someone (above) asked what I was still doing here. And that was my reply. Your hate-filled website was still running on my browser when I opened my laptop. I hadn’t deleted the fucking thing yet.
Like I’d post my picture on your website. Yeah, right.
Why? So you can rip into me like you do Julia Allison!
Here’s a clue, Alana! You don’t own the internet. So Fuck off!
May 22nd, 2009 at 9:34 pm
Nothing about a picture, you don’t even have the balls to say your real name. So you hide behind “anonymous” on the internet to take out the aggression you apparently have in your real life. It’s “worrisome” how angry you are! I wouldn’t let it bother you! lol
I only rip apart people who are ugly from the inside, not the outside. And I don’t need a picture to tell which you are “John”.
Actually, this little area of internet real estate: I do own. So fuck off! lol But keep coming back!
Not.
I’m actually breaking my own rule: anon’s don’t exist here. My last bit of advice to you: You should read the above post and figure out a way to purge the aggression and anger you have inside.
My “hating” on Julia is based on things she has done not once or twice but consistently that are unethical, irresponsible and offensive. Someone like that should be held accountable. Who have I hurt? What have I done? I’m just creating content that I believe in. I’m not lying. I’m not deceiving. I’m not deleting comments so I look this way or that to whoever. I’m not using black hate SEO or stealing others work. So what is YOUR hate about? Freak.
But there will always be the “John’s” out there. And I am just fine with it. You aren’t the first, you won’t be the last, and none of you phase me or effect my life in the least. In fact, I’m sitting here laughing at this. With all your “fucking this, hate-filled that”.
This website isn’t filled with hate at all. You are delusional and have some kind of mentally warped tunnel vision. Seek help, this website isn’t enough for the likes of you.
“So fuck off!”
xo
May 23rd, 2009 at 5:47 pm
Speaking for mysef, I’m shy. It’s probably to my own detriment but I do not speak up in social situations not because I do not have opinions but because I cannot bring myself to do it. I’ve had the therapy, I’ve been on the medication (it nearly killed me), I’ve heard all the advice and it boils down to this is who I am. I am not happy being this way, no the world is not any kinder to those of us who seem to go with the flow. It’s a painful, lonely existence but just because I am this way does not mean I agree with injustice or what everyone else is saying, it just means that I cannot disagree verbally.
May 23rd, 2009 at 10:24 pm
I don’t think medication is the answer. I think that’s a crutch modern psychology relies on far too much. What do you think it is that keeps you from speaking up… for *anything you believe in or stand for…? Accepting yourself for who you just are is a good thing, except where it comes to things that inhibit you… what keeps you from it do you think?
May 26th, 2009 at 9:08 am
Why are you such a raging BITCH Alana? OMG I HATEZ YOU.
Love,
Anons of the World Anonymous
June 6th, 2009 at 3:00 pm
Ha! I’ll raise my hand first to say yes I’m a bitch. I’m occasionally confrontational and aggressive. When the situation warrants it. For the anonymous “John” idiot – here’s a wonderful idea: you don’t like it, don’t fucking read it. Pretty simple.
June 6th, 2009 at 3:05 pm
LOL right? He sure as hell kept coming back for me. And it’s like: THANK YOU for the page views! hehe
xo